• mom: don't eat the cookies yet, they just came out of the oven and are too hot
  • me: fire cannot kill a dragon

snazziest:

I’m reading your palm and it says it belongs on my butt

illegalaustralien:

Friend: If you had a superpower, which one would you choose?

Me:

image

sunsgodown:

true friends don’t judge each other

they judge other people

together

(Source: socriminals)

officialwhitegirls:

when you correct the teacher

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(Source: officialwhitegirls)

robotlynx:

sighnless:

robotlynx:

lmao don’t try to scare me with that shit, everyone knows that skeletons aren’t fucking real. nerds

then explain this

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JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!JESUS CHRISTJESUS FUCK